We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
