Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
