You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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