My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
