No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Your dad touched me again.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
