You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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