I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need moral support for this bender
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
