We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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