I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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