one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
