I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
