That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
