Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
