guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
