We won't sleep together?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
