I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
