I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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