I'm drive I can fine osifer
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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