I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
