Swine flu. Run for my life!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
