he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
not ubering you a puppy
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
