oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
