no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
