I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
