I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
