You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ugly people sure do ruin things
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
