We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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