You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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