Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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