there's paper in my vomit.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
