Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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