It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
