a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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