you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found puke in my bra..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
