I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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