Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
