some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
