Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
