around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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