I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
