Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
