Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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