ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
