do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
