So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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