Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
