its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
