I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
