Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
