Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
