just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
