Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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