every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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