The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
