I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
